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[Jan. 24th, 2005|12:56 pm] |
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got a new name...addict_n_me..add it |
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[Jan. 20th, 2005|12:45 pm] |
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w00h00..my bestest friend said she would take my g/f to prom!!..bad ass.i'm happy as hell..w0w just tohught i'd share that..love you guyz!!! |
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[Jan. 19th, 2005|07:27 pm] |
so..as "ya'll" know...i am back in tx..livin with my aunt..not really much to say.got some pix to add though..
so..this is my gurl..in the black shorts..shes got short hair like mine now..this is her powerliftin pic from last yr
this is my cuz n his wife and baby...isnt she so damn cute..
this is me takin care of the baby"elyssa jaden"
and it does tooo snow in texas hooka...my aunts house.
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[Jan. 9th, 2005|06:43 pm] |
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movin to tx in 5 days with my aunt...gettin my teachin degree..graduatin early probably...crazy huh?..i miss u all..hope to talk to ya sooooon |
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[Nov. 4th, 2004|10:19 am] |
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remember outside..leaned against junes car ..our arms around each other...and my head on your shoulder...the day before u left...i miss that.... |
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[Nov. 2nd, 2004|03:31 pm] |
I need opinions...
okay. for one..skewl was worse..ppl threatened to kik my ass..ppl yellin dyke throughout the halls..i dont get it..they accepted me more at the beginning then they do now..so yea...the skewl chelsea just transfered to is a christian skewl..harvest christian or something..she made a comment to me about how i should go to skewl there and i jokeingly said sumthin to my mom about it and her reply was...is that what you want? i was like huh?..cuz i hadnt thought about is seriously... i know it would be kinda crazy for me bein all gay then goin to a christian skewl but..if i go there..i actually get to graduate on time..matter of fact.i already have enough credits at this point in time to graduate from there.. .chelsea will be there..and i know its gonna be hard for me to hide my gayness cause i am so open about it.but..if i get to graduate on time ..dont ya think its worth it??..ima talk to chels about it whenever she is aloud to talk on the fone ...i kno its gonna suck if they start preachin to me about homosexuality but..i can ignore people very well and..if i dont tell them im gay.(which its pretty obvious) but..maybe if i dont tell them...im pretty sure i dont have to worry about people yelling dyke n stuff and threatening to kik my ass when im at skewl..:-p...so..you guyz think its worth it?!
..thinking...
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[Nov. 1st, 2004|07:41 pm] |
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she transferred skewls :-\...i hate life!!!!! |
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[Nov. 1st, 2004|05:13 pm] |
Aight so..
Life sux..i hate it..every last second of it..i have alreay typed a whole entire entry but...for some reason..it all erased so..ima try again..today i went to skewl..i didnt want to but..i did..got there and waited all morning for chelsea to get tehre cause i really needed to talk to her..she didnt show up..the i got told all this stuff about how she has transferred skewls and all this other junk which really confused me cause..she never said anything to me about it..i go to first block..it was aight..i had a massive head ache and it didnt seem to want to go away..then..i go to break..im just standing there when all of a sudden everyone starts running to the jrotc building cause apparently 2 chix were gonna fight.but..besides that..this guy comes jumpin off the steps by the break room ..slamming in to me and kncking me to the ground..he basiclly hit on top of me and i smacked my knee on the ground..which sux cause im out of my medicine for my knees as it is..so he keeps goin and instead of..sorry...he says.."move out the way boi" then runs off...i was irritated but..i didnt care..i stood there for the rest of break..i had all sorts of people standing beside me but..i felt alone..as i seem to always feel now :-\..we go on to 2nd block and stephanie decides to start with the "dyke bitch" shit again..i got pissed and said look my fuking name is CHELSEA ok..its not that fukin hard..rainbow is aight..skittles is kewl but..dyke bitch..come on..then she starts goin off on me and of course..i let my temper get the best and ..i went off on her..i dont think very many people noticed that we were fightin so..that was good..but yea i was pissed..i realized she was pretty immatture a ling time ago but..now..i just had to say something since apparentlly no one else was..i go on to the beginning of 3rd and i did a review then..i went to lunch..stephanie and all my other "friends" start yellin stuff bout the "dyke bitch" ..also known as..me..she goes on and on and on just loud enough to where the people around the 2 tables we were at could hear her..people are laughing..im turning red..i wanted to crawl into the corner..i realize i shouldnt let it get to me but i mean seriously,..my day was bad enough as it is and then this?!..i wanted to mouth back but..it is pointless..it was just a waste of time..i wanted to cry so fuking bad..i tried my best not to..i know its pathetic but its like everything is all pilling on top of each other..and i didnt want everyone at the table to see the tears forming in my eyes so..i just layed my head down..i go on to the rest of 3rd and didnt say a word to anyone..i sat there and drew the entire time..the bell rings and i go to 4th..it was aight..i didnt really say much of anything to anyone and..my head ache was getting worse..i had to stay after skewl today for grad exam tutoring in math and got out at about 5 sumthin n now..im here so yea.that was my day..i hope everyone elses went better than mine... < 3 u guyz..peace
i talked to garett today
.....he's pretty kewl..
his friends are great....
random~ness is the shit |
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[Oct. 31st, 2004|06:23 pm] |
I found the answer to it all
"Tinky Winky For President"
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[Oct. 30th, 2004|11:39 pm] |
aight..
we r gonna have to clear this up..
im not gettin all stressed out bout just her..shits been stressful with skewll..
family life..
relationships...
friendships...
etc..
and that just seemed to overflow it all and i just broke down..
i kno i have a bad habit of keepin my emotions bottled up inside to much but..
i cant help it..
then eventualli it all gets filled like today and i jsut break down and cant do anything but cry.
and spikiez
u for one should know that by now
im not gonna let a gurl bring me down that much
over a simple thing
....peace.....
ni' nite time |
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[Oct. 30th, 2004|06:34 pm] |
gawd im so stoopid
but..
it wouldn't b that bad if i didn't like her so damn much
maybe i should move in with my aunt
...
i'm seriousli thinkin bout it
..i dunno
i hate life
i love.....
love
bye |
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[Oct. 30th, 2004|06:13 pm] |
she says.. we will do sumthin tonite
i said aight sounds good
she says..ill call u back later and tell you for sure
i said ...yes ma'am
.....still waiting for call
.......still waiting
.....waiting
mom wants to kno wut my plans are
i call her
she says
dad says u can stay the nite
but...
(there is always a but..)
mom says u can't
so...
yet again
stood up
on halloween.
it fukin blowz
this weekend was supposed to be halfway decent
homecoming..
halloween
didn't go hang out with sum1 else cuz...
i was gonna hang out with...
*hEr*
didn't go to homecoming
halloween blowz
stuck out on both plans
fuk everything
i hate so much shit right now
it pisses me off
but..
y do i cry?
maybe cuz i let it all build up until..
i can't take it anymore
and now im bawlin my fuking eyes out
feelin so stupid
........
i wanna go home... |
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[Oct. 29th, 2004|09:30 pm] |
jsut got home
went to eat with my mom
it was alrite
tonight was homecoming
and the dance
but i didnt go
tommarrow everyone is doin all their halloween shit ehre
i got invited to several parties
but...
im not gonna do anything unless i got with chelsea
i have to call ehr in the morning
and she will tell me if she has to work or not
she hasnt been to skewl like all week
and she came today
she walked up to me n was so excited to see me
she told me she missed me
and gave me a hug
..i was surprised
im still kinda confused
am i gettin lead on?
ughh i hate drama
i hate love
but yet.
.i love it so much
i needa gurl
im bored
tired
sick
lonely
..going..
peace |
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[Oct. 29th, 2004|05:24 pm] |
why do i write in here..
no1 reads it..
and if they do..
they don't comment..
peace nikkuhs |
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[Oct. 28th, 2004|07:25 pm] |
ehh.
skewl was alrite i guess
it was "dress up day"..
i wore a pair of black dikies slacks
the white button up shirt with the black print on it..(the one that i wore in my sr.pix)
and.
..my white vans..
i wanted to wear a suit but..
i got up late and didnt have enough time to decide what i was gonna do..
we had the lil "homecoming court" deal..
it was hot in the gym
................................
*sHe*hasn't came to skewl since monday
tuesday me n *hEr* were supposed to wear our JNCO's for "twin day"
but..
*sHe* failed to tell me that *sHe* actuallu wouldn't be there cause..
*sHe* had a choir trip..
so wednesday rolls around..
still no site of *hEr*..
thursday rolls around...
still no site of *hEr*..
so after skewl i called..
no answer....
i left a mess..
"chels..this is...chels..just callin to make sure u r still..i've missed ya n everyone's askin where you are..call me later..
so..no call
so i call back round 5:30..
finally answered but..
"hey gurl..im on the fone with my g-ma..let me call u back in a second"..
i fell asleep waitin' for the call
so..i wake up and call back..
i didnt wanna bother but..
i gotta fig. out if *sHe* is actually gonnma stick with the plans this time for the weekend.
but..no answer
so..i give up
i prob wont go out this weekend
i prob. wont go to homecoming tomamrrow
......
i feel like total shit lately
..its like last time..
always tired..
stomach killin' me..
i know i should take my med..
but..
i don't wanna..
fuk it...
im out |
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[Oct. 27th, 2004|06:16 pm] |
soo.
.today was aight i guess
..we had a sr. meeting..
i sat down by david n mal n all them n steph k. kept runnin' her mouth tellin' me i was sittin' with "my kind" ..
ive talked to alot of people from skewl lately that i dont normally talk to..
so yea im makin new frends..
surprising huh?..
i talked to torrie n moe n rod n fred yesterday.
.it was realli glad to hear "cheeze's" voice.
.although they made fun of me lol..
me n my dayumm texan "twang"..
thats all good tho cuz they kno they want me lol..
j/k..
but yea..
summer is supposed to call me today.
.it will b the first time 4 us to talk on the fone..
im.happy/nervous..shes so awesome.
.hmm.
.i miss beein so close to *hEr*..
we are supposed to hang out on halloween..
i hate so much but yet i love it...........
love that is.. |
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[Oct. 26th, 2004|06:46 pm] |
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so..my ear..it hurts..this ear ring is stretchin it more :-p..i was pullin on it n shit today lol ...im weird..but..at least its stretchin :-p..i dunno how big i want em..cant b too big till i move out cause of the momz but yea i bit a chunk of my tongue off a sec ago..i didnt mean to..it hurt :*(..2 chix threatened me after skewl yesterday..they pointed at my triangle on the back of my ID n said..ur luki i didnt see taht shit earlier.i woulda whooped your fukin ass n i just looked at em n said..wtf r u talkin bout..they said i will see ur ass after skewl..i stood out front to where they could c me if they came by..but they never did..a few guyz told me that they start shit with everyone n they r major homofobes n they could kik my ass but u kno wut..let em..im still gonna b on teh ground runnin my mouth at the hoes...i may b a lil bitch but that don't mean i just give up like it aint nuthin...people r so stoopid..so yea..im bored..my back hurtz...i will b/b/l to update..peace nikkuhs |
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luskittle81604's journal
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